Tony Abbott & Julia Gillard: The Elope!
by yes-Pluto-is-that-way-I-KNOW
Summary: Exploding with passion, Tony boldly pops 'the question' to Julia- 15 minutes before the the voting closes on a nationally filmed stage! Now the army is out for their heads! Join them as they fight off the bad/good? guys and bravely make their escape!


Ok the ultimate, ultimate most AWESOME outcome for the Australian pm election would be this...

*cough*cough* IS A CRACK-FIC and may contain violence!* *cough*

"Ok Mr Abbot, Ms Gilliard, please take your final speech"

Both get up to their respective counters, both get ready to face each other in the microphone

JULIA GILLIARD: "ok Australia, There are 15 last minutes until the final countdown, 15 last minutes until we secure all of your votes for good. I want to thank each and every one of you for your hard earned loyalty and support, this is the last chance we'll get to vote for a prime minister around here people! :(

...anyway we couldn't of done any of this without all of your help, your love, your devotion, your taxes and your-"

"STOP!" Tony Abbot cried out passionately from behind his counter. Everyone stopped to look at him. Tony Abbot lifted one lone, dramatic fist, shaking it in the air with each syllable. "I... cannot take it... anymore! DD:"

"Why...? What is it?..." A suprised Julia Gillard asked along with everyone else witnessing the incident, "Whatever... can it be?"

"I just can't take THIS anymore, Julia, THIS!" He swept his arm across his support papers, some of them sweeping into the air while he grabbed the rest with the other hand and tried spastically to rip them up until finally just settling upon throwing them all up into the air as well.

Julia stepped back a little, along with the rest of the population, her mouth slightly open in shock and eyes wide and bright! Tony Abbot decided to wave his hands passionately in the air a few more times before taking huge, deliberate steps towards her on stage.

"All the debating! And the disagreements! And the conferences! Can't you see, Julia, I was made for you!" he gestured earnestly to her in front of his chest "Can't you see?"

Tony's hands went out to meet hers, and her breath caught in her throat as she eyed him tightly! She started, slowly, whispering and shaking her head-

"Tony, no-"

"Julia?"

"But-"

"Dear Julia?"

...

"Yes Tony?" She was still in shock, just simply gazing.

"Elope with me?"

"Gasp!" Went Julia!

"Gasp!" Went the Australian public!

Julia Gillard was so nervous she could hardly breathe!

Finally, after one very long last moment, something of a very foreign emotion started to come out from her... Julia began to cry.

"Oh Tony!" Her voice was shaking, "What about the Australian public? And the election?"

Tony Abbot responded by pulling her in closer. He closed his passionate, hard worked eyes and breathed out a sigh, almost relieved, when he felt her head resting on his shoulder.

"We don't *need the Australian public, or the election," he smiled peacefully, stroking her hair with a slight shake of his head, "not when we have our good looks, and each other!"

She moved her head backwards and in awe she stared at him "Oh, Tony!"

"Oh, Gillard!"

:/ *shrug* true true.

He held her gaze, and she held his and, feeling so very safely wrapped in each other's arms, she took one last look lingering back towards the Australian public, before looking back at him.

"Ok then, honey, let's blow this joint! :D"

[Authors note, for the music-to-storyline sync in this next part, pls start playing mission impossible music here: www .youtube .com /watch?v=wgbt_6o0r9M and take out the three spaces after *www* and after *youtube* and after *com* since the system doesn't let me write whole addresses- seriously - do it! ;-)]

All of a sudden, the Australian audience, which up until now had been really quiet, started to whisper and stir. Tony Abbot knew it would only be a matter of time until somebody came to arrest them.

"HEY, YOU THAR!" Called a heavy outfitted army squadron from the corner of the stage, 'STOP!"

Too late!

"Crud!" He said turning to Ms Gilliard "What are we going to do about this one D:!"

"Already covered, babe!" she said pulling two HK 64's out of her sleeves and a longer machine gun out of her lower stocking. "Catch!" she shouted, throwing him the former weapons and grabbing onto a nearby rope someone left hanging near the stage.

Tony Abbot grinned at her enthusiastically "Ooook! ;D""

Julia took off.

Tony Abbot turned around to face them. "Hey! All y9ou sweetcakess! Wanna piece of this?"

The captain of the Australian guard could hardly wait to take out one of the most hypocritical politicians of all time.

"Time you got yours, you speedo wearing freak!"

"My speedos... r not... FREAKS! ARGHHHHHHHH!" And with Abbot kicked him, shooting the two beside him and moving forward to elbow a further one in the head!

Julia Gilliard up until now had been swinging on the rope all around the stadium, shooting up any nearby guards or snipers that were clinging to the balconies.

"Yaaaaaa!" She cried, taking it all in like a kimakazi mission "Take that that you suckers! Natural born scallywags!"

She looked down in the midst of her mission to see Abbot in trouble

"Baby!" She cried out, leaning in on the rope to quickly get to him.

*** Tony Abbot ***

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" He called, still going all out on the army commandos with everything that he got!

Bit by bit though, they were starting to be to many for him and he was slowly being pushed back towards the edge of the stage!

Tony looked up to see his darling, his only one, true sweetheart coming towards him!

"Darling!"

Julia smiled wildly, "Sweetheart!"

"Angel :D!"

"Cuppy-cakes! :D!"

She aimed the machine gun.

"Fire!"

*BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!*

"Yeah, baby, yeah!" And Tony grabbed the hand that was reached out to him.

They both landed on a stair case near the top of the stadium, they looked down, then ran from the guards that pursued!

They ran up the staircase

The guards followed behind

They nearly managed to grab them but Gillard (who wears pants under that skirt, this fic IS PG rated) scissor kicked him!

They reached the top with no where else to go, and found themselves being surrounded.

It looked like the Asutralian public might win, as the guards readied their rifles and took their aim.

They reached out for each other's hands and looked tear-stained yet lovingly into each others eyes.

When all of a sudden-

...

...

...

...

...

...

WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP! Came the great sounds behind them of a helicopter which blew everyone's hair into every direction!

The couple, still holding hands, stared behind them into the floodlights as as the helicopter slowly rose up...

"KEVINNN! :DDD" Cried out a pile-drive smiling Julia!

Tony Abbot jerked back his head. "Kevin?" he raised an eyebrow at Julia "Gall bladder operation?"

Julia just laughed all knowingly and shook her head! 'Nope! ;) I had him waiting on the sidelines, just in case :D"

Tony laughed and leaned foreward to nuzzle her nose "Oh, you!" Yeah Julia Gillard, oh you!

The army officers were still trying to figure out what was going on, when the two of them leaned back in their general direction and smiled, saying:

"Thanks for the funding. folks! :D"

"Yeah, see ya later! :D"

And then, still joined together and in one long move, they both leaped off towards the helicopter and grabbed a small rope ladder that Kevin Rudd had generously left out for them, with Tony still shooting bullets as they all flew away.

"It's not over yet!" Kevin Rudd yelled to them from the cockpit, "Hang on!"

With that he lifted the helicopter further into the sky.

The captain of the Australian guards had his boys lined up with a missle launcher getting ready to shoot!

But Kevin Rudd had his own inbuilt tail-end missle launcher, and had one eye pressed into the targeting machine, ready to fire!

"Steady... steady..."

The captain of the AU guard shouted 'FIRE!'

Kevin Rudd shouted 'FIRE!'

BOOOOOM!

Everyonbe waited as the smoke behind them cleared..

"Haha" Kevin Rudd called out the window behind him, "So long, you suckers!"

The captain of the Australian guard was fuming! He stomped his feet angrily as he threw his helmet away!

"Oh Tony!" Julia Gillard sighed one more painfully joyous time as they both huggled each other under a blanket in the helicopter, drinking hot chocolate with Kevin Rudd flying them away. "That was the best present you've ever given me!"

Tony smiled happily with one arm around his further wife to be, and as he turned to Kevin Rudd, he spoke proudly, like a man with a job well done!

"So, where to from here, Ruddy?"

Kevin kept one hand one the wheel and with the other he pulled a huge cigar away from his mouth. *Phhhhew* he blew some huge smoke rings, and had he been any closer, Abbot might have choked!

"I got me a place downtown in Cuba, it's not much of a set up so far, but the funding gained from the plan I executed with the labor party should help!"

Abbot laughed and punched his shoulder happily. "Well done, Ruddy, well done. ;)"

(ending summary)

And the Australian public did not manage to get another prime minister or even stand in prime minister until up to 3 days after the eloping incident, by which time chaos had completely taken over and all order had fallen unsalvagably apart.

Mr and Mrs Abbot happily lived out the remainder of their lives while fighting life as fugitives, robbing bank vaults and re-routing the cash in a sweet deal set up for them by Kevin Rudd ooof Cuba! :D

As for the rest of the story, well, you know ;) *shrugs*

The end! :DDD

(Author Disclaimer: I wrote this in like one night over a cup of coffee for the fun of it so it's not my best work.

This was written just a few days before Kevin came back to the labor party- stupid Kevin Rudd, getting his life together and ruining my dreams! T_T

Since there was no tv show that this was taken from apart from around three years ago on the today show (check up 'Tony & Julia flirting on youtube you'll see what I mean ;) my disclaimer is that I do not own reality, or the PM election or Tony Abbot or Julia Gillard.

Tony Abbot's speedo's does not make him a hypocrite just because he's Catholic at the same time, I merely wrote what came to mind quickly knowing about the argument here and there over the internet over that one. Srsly, if you believe that check your views and grow up. That's pretty spiteful just because you'd rather side with the oppostion.

On second thoughts though, speedos look bad. I mean, really really bad- on anybody! If Miss Julia were to win the next elction, not saying who's side I pick or to pick, I recommend that she ban them from Australia- permanently!

Vote for who you want to vote for, I've already picked the state parties and pm that I want to vote for and as for the rest, I will probably continue to flip a coin- partially because I figure the political system is trashed and doublesided anyway you cut it and also because of the funny look that I get from the guy in the neighboring counter- priceless ;) If you can't decide, you might want to try this way; it's far more fun!

That is all.)


End file.
